Is It Normal for Adults to Remember Being a Baby
Most of us can think what nosotros had for breakfast this morning. Just, if y'all tried, could you lot remember what you had for breakfast on this today a calendar week ago? Or, fifty-fifty farther back, on this date last year, or v years agone? Rebecca Sharrock does. She's i of a very small grouping of people in the world — about sixty known cases — who have a rare condition known as highly superior autobiographical memory, or HSAM. People with HSAM remember an incredible amount of their by experiences. Why they practise is still a mystery.
Becky remembers—is unable to forget—all of her birthdays, emotional events and even dreams, and has been dating them since 2004 by crossing off each day in a calendar.
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Transcript
Donna Lu:Nigh of u.s.a. can recall what nosotros had for breakfast this morning, but if you tried, could you recall what yous had for breakfast on this twenty-four hour period, a week ago or even further dorsum on this date last twelvemonth? Or five years agone? In all likelihood, probably non – but Rebecca Sharrock can remember. She's 1 of the very modest group of people in the earth – about 60 known cases – who have a rare condition known equally Highly Superior Autobiographical Retentiveness, or HSAM. People with HSAM remember an incredible amount of their past experiences. Becky is unable to forget all of her birthdays, emotional events and even dreams, and has been dating them since 2004 past crossing off each solar day in the calendar. In this episode, nosotros hear from her, her mother Janet, and Associate Professor Gail Robinson from UQ psychology.
Donna Lu: Becky, can you tell us virtually the status that you accept?
Rebecca Sharrock: The condition I have…there'south a few things I've got. I've got autism, I've got obsessive compulsive disorder, full general feet, merely the about unusual condition I have is chosen HSAM, which is an acronym for Highly Superior Autobiographical Retentiveness, and information technology makes me unable to forget any 24-hour interval of my life since I was a newborn child.
Donna Lu: And Becky, when did you first realise that your memory wasn't like near other people's?
Rebecca Sharrock: Initially, I thought my retention was quite boilerplate. I did notice that I dwelled on things a little flake more usual, but I just put that down to my obsessive compulsive disorder which makes me fixate on thoughts and ideas more. But when I was twenty one, my parents showed me a news segment that they'd watched before. Information technology was on the 23rd of January 2011, and they showed me this news segment about a small group of people who had a really unusual retentiveness where they could think back to when they were children and every day since then, and when those people on the news segment were describing their detailed recollections I turned to my mom and said, "Why are they calling that unusual? Isn't it normal to call up that fashion?" And my mom goes, "No, but nosotros think yous've got this rare status." And then, they asked me if information technology would exist OK for them to send an electronic mail to the McGowan Stark lab at the University of California Irvine because they were the ones who discovered the group of people featured on the show and their contact details had come up. And then, I was one-half listening and went, "Yeah, ok, yous can send them an email, but I wasn't expecting a response back. Only ii weeks later we did get a response back, and they said they were willing to exam me to come across if I had HSAM and I wasn't a hundred percentage sure if I did accept HSAM, then those tests did scare me a bit. But after 2 years of many different kinds of tests which were mainly done over Skype in the early hours of the morning time our time, in May 2013, I was identified past the UCI as having HSAM.
Donna Lu: And Janet, I just desire to bring you in now. When did you first observe something unusual almost Becky'southward retention?
Janet: Well, from the showtime I e'er knew that Becky had a good memory, but she also was a very quiet child, so it was nothing that she would be talking nearly – it's not equally if she shared all her memories with me all the time. I simply knew that she would remember things: you lot know, she'd be 4 and she'd say, "I've been hither before", and she would accept been 2 [years quondam] when she went there, so I always thought: Oh! She has a very, very good memory. And then fifty-fifty as a very immature child, she must have been virtually iv, I gave her dinner and she said, "Do you know that we had this two weeks agone on a Friday?" And I'thousand like, you lot can't think that far, and I merely sort of said, "OK. What did you have for dinner yesterday?" And we went all the manner dorsum, and she kept going and going and I couldn't remember anymore what I'd made. So, I mean I knew she had a very good memory, yeah.
Donna Lu: And then was it that news segment that kind of tweaked that information technology wasn't just...
Janet: It was the manner – when they actually had people on there who had HSAM – it was the way they were recalling memories, and I remember looking at the look that they had in their eyes when they were recalling the memories, and they're kind of in the retentiveness, and Rebecca never reflects on the by – she always relives the by. And that was the light bulb moment for me. It was the wait on their face up. And then of class I sort of I liked the way when they would give them dates and they'd repeat the date back and you could run across it was almost every bit if it was activating their memory, and then they'd echo what the day was. I noticed that happened, so when I saw the segment, I sort of got a list of dates sorted for Becky and I'd tested her and she did the aforementioned thing, and I had never noticed it before; and that sort of cemented information technology as well. It was the way she... her head would tilt. It sounds quite strange, but information technology'due south almost the way they recollect is like.
Donna Lu: So, Becky, what I might do now is ask y'all what you think nigh a few specific dates. So, the first i is the 22nd January 2008.
Rebecca Sharrock: The 22nd Jan 2008 was a… Tuesday.
Donna Lu: It was.
Rebecca Sharrock: And on that item solar day, information technology was 2 weeks after my mum's altogether. I didn't watch the news that solar day, but I know the in the newspapers – and specially the Sunday Mail service ,which I read two days earlier – Kevin Rudd had... nosotros'd gotten a new Prime Minister, and all through my childhood it was merely... it was John Howard almost of my childhood.
Donna Lu: And so, so exercise you remember the 21st July 2007?
Rebecca Sharrock: The 21st July 2007 was a Saturday, and that was a major event of my life personally, because it was the very final solar day that a book from the Harry Potter series was released. Information technology'due south when Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows was released as a volume.
Donna Lu: And so do you remember going to the shops that day?
Rebecca Sharrock: That twenty-four hours…I didn't go to the shops myself, because due to my autism I couldn't deal because the shops were mayhem and everyone was rushing trying to go that volume. So, my stepdad went and got us all a copy from Big West. So, when he came home, he brought in the book, and that's what I did for the residuum of the mean solar day. I just...
Donna Lu: Curled up and read information technology?
Rebecca Sharrock: Curled up and read it.
Donna Lu: When did that honey first brainstorm?
Rebecca Sharrock: When I showtime got into Harry Potter, information technology was 1999, and hardly anyone in Australia who I came across that time…hardly any people knew what Harry Potter was, but my teacher said to me one lunchtime, she says, "Oh, I've found a new book that I think you will similar, it'due south called Harry Potter?" And now for nineteen years, I haven't stopped reading chapters to myself. And it didn't take long likewise because I have insomnia, because of the memories going through my mind, and my heed'southward always and so busy and agile and I tin can't sleep well at night because of it, but I found the if I could read Harry Potter, it would put me to sleep every bit a nine-yr-old. And so I thought to myself, I'm going to take to find a way where I tin read Harry Potter just take my optics closed. And then I thought, I'll accept to larn to recite the books, and that's when I taught myself – and I learnt in a rote-learning way – to learn different chapters of the books. Then, I could say, do Chapter seven, Harry Potter, and simply pick a random one – and the Deathly Hallows Affiliate 7, 'The will of Albus Dumbledore' and then on, just I'd choose a chapter and so speak out loud to myself, reciting it, and I'd know if I roughshod asleep if I only find myself silent.
Donna Lu: That's incredible. So if I started reading some passages from different Harry Potter books...
Rebecca Sharrock: Yep.
Donna Lu: …y'all'd be able to follow on and tell me which one they came from?
Rebecca Sharrock: Yeah.
Donna Lu: And so, this is the first passage: "Malfoy couldn't believe his eyes..."
Rebecca Sharrock: [Overlapping] "Believe his eyes when he saw that Harry and Ron was still at Hogwarts next day, looking tired but perfectly cheerful. Indeed by next morning Harry and Ron thought that coming together the three-headed dog had been an excellent adventure, and they were quite keen to accept another one."
Donna Lu: That'south incredible.
Rebecca Sharrock: And that'due south Chapter x, 'Halloween', from 'Harry Potter and the Philosopher's stone'.
Donna Lu: That'south amazing. The next one is: "Harry was first wake up in his dormitory next morn..."
Rebecca Sharrock: [Overlapping] "Next morning. He lay for a moment and watched dust swirl in the ray of sunlight coming through the gap in his iv-poster'due south hangings, and savoured the idea that it was a Saturday." And that's Chapter 14, 'Percy and Padfoot', from Harry Potter and the Lodge of the Phoenix.
Donna Lu: Yep it is. That is only incredible. How long did that take you to learn it all?
Rebecca Sharrock: It depends. I'm now learning the new Harry Potter books – I'm learning to recite those too. I find to do three pages of a affiliate…well, I call a page, you know, one side. And so, technically that's six pages. Merely I discover on average to exercise six regular book-sized pages, that takes me an 60 minutes.
Donna Lu: So and you just read through it over and over?
Rebecca Sharrock: Aye. And I just... I break it up too. I but remember a chunk of information technology, and it helps if I simply take something – a brawl in my hand – and merely close my eyes, trying to remember. If I'chiliad distracted I can't do it, but if I'm simply in silence with a brawl, only a little stress brawl or something, I can... I find a can do it.
Donna Lu: Incredible. Rebecca, how would you describe how your memory works? Is information technology, for example, similar a filing chiffonier in which, you know, yous'd flick dorsum to a detail flow or a 24-hour interval, or do the memories kind of come unprompted?
Rebecca Sharrock: Naturally, the memories come unprompted, or it seems unprompted considering I'll just get a scent or I'll see something and subconsciously I'll relive a memory, but I tin can consciously make myself relive positive memories. Negative too, merely who wants to consciously relive negative memories. But I tin consciously make myself relive positive memories, but the season has to match for it to work effectively, considering at that place'due south no bespeak trying to relive a sum of memory today.
Donna Lu: So, there's a certain trigger or a stimulus that will kick it off?
Rebecca Sharrock: Aye.
Donna Lu: What kinds of memories do yous have? Is it just, for example, is it conversations, or does information technology extend as well to concrete things?
Rebecca Sharrock: Only annihilation I've experienced through my five senses and also emotions, too. So, any aroma I get, any sight I see, also physical sensations, as well. I tin relive the pain of injuries and I can likewise relive pleasant tastes of nutrient I like.
Donna Lu: So, in thinking nearly a memory nigh a sure meal for example you tin actually taste that meal once again?
Rebecca Sharrock: Yeah.
Donna Lu: That's a pretty handy pull a fast one on to have if you lot're eating something you don't really desire to exist.
Rebecca Sharrock: Yes! [Chuckling]
Donna Lu: Exercise you link memories to specific dates consciously, or does information technology merely happen?
Rebecca Sharrock: With dates…because I relive the days I experience and if I cross the calendar appointment off that solar day, I'll know what appointment information technology was that 24-hour interval. If I was besides young, I still remember the solar day but I can't date information technology, as I didn't know virtually calendars so. It'due south opposite to recalling memories from dates. It'south more a case of recalling dates from memories. Yeah.
Donna Lu: So, can you pinpoint your primeval memory?
Rebecca Sharrock: My earliest memory in that location'southward... there's a few of them. I know the earliest dated one, and I know the date because mum told me information technology was the twenty-four hours I was born. I think just being held in a blanket and having something clipped to my talocrural joint, and mum said that was the solar day I was built-in. There are memories of emotions before then and besides just lying, you know, hunched upwardly like this [hunches].
Donna Lu: Like in kind of a foetal position?
Rebecca Sharrock: Yeah. And I know whenever I feel stressed, because it was so comforting being in that position…I find I only grab myself like this [hunches in foetal position]. I've never mentioned that before. Simply it merely reminds me of the sensation, simply squeezing together like this.
Donna Lu: The concrete sensation?
Rebecca Sharrock: Yes.
Donna Lu: It seems almost unbelievable that you can call up things from when yous were very, very young, and I guess there'south no way of verifying it. Practice you have people enquire you who are chip skeptical well-nigh those memories? What exercise you lot say to those people?
Rebecca Sharrock: Yeah. I say to them there is no manner of proving them…Well, information technology'due south debatable because inquiry scientists, they just know by the way I answered that information technology'southward legit, but I do become skeptics, and I say to them, 'it is understandable existence skeptical', and no affair what yous say, some people are intensely skeptical and they'll never believe it, but I say, "All I know is that the memories are there, then I know myself that it's truthful; and I don't know why those memories are there. They're just in my mind". But a way of verifying HSAM, and the one that tends to satisfy most skeptics I meet, is that during HSAM research tests, I'll be asked a question: what did you have for breakfast, say, on May 2nd 2003, and they'll think the reply I gave and and so two years after they'll ask me, "We asked you, 'What did you have for breakfast' on 2nd May 2003. Now can yous tell me the answer you gave two years ago?" And they accept it on record and because they're recording a video link, a Skype phone call. I tin can't even crook and write downwardly what I say without them knowing. So, that's something when I come across skeptics that does satisfy the nearly skeptical people somewhat at least. And another thing I exercise is that I'g drawing my memories that I saw as an infant, a child, a teenager, an adult. I'thousand drawing my memories and that tends to interest a fair few people who were skeptical as well, just showing all the item of what I saw at that age. But the i that tends to satisfy most is mentioning the video and how it's recorded and that then I 'one thousand asked of it years later.
Janet: Well, I recollect with Rebecca'due south memory, the thing that ever…I recollect that shocked me the most, was when she was talking in one case to somebody and she was explaining how she dreams; and fifty-fifty though she has dreams like we have – you know, people without HSHAM, neurotypical people – she can actually remember all the dreams she's ever had in sequence, and that she'southward consciously enlightened when she's dreaming that she'south dreaming.
Donna Lu: I accept read that people with HSAM…so it'south chosen lucid dreaming and it'southward... it's much more common, isn't information technology?
Janet: Yeah, it is. And Bec can alter her dreams as well. She mentioned once that she was having a dream and information technology wasn't a particularly interesting dream, so she started planning – because Becky, having autism, likes to timetable her day and activities. So she said while she was still dreaming, she was – at the same fourth dimension – timetabling her upcoming 24-hour interval of the action she was doing. So, she always says to me, she's not good at multitasking beingness autistic, she'south very literal. And I said, "Well, that'southward the ultimate of multi-tasking", when yous're dreaming and you're relaxing in your dream, and you can really plan something and get something organised and schedule your day for the upcoming twenty-four hours. I thought that was absolutely heed bravado for me.
Donna Lu: Yeah. Planning in your sleep and waking upwardly prepared for the day ahead.
Janet: It's amazing, isn't it?
Donna Lu: Incredible. Becky, did you have anything that you wanted to add?
Rebecca Sharrock: In relation to what Mum only said…I found with dreaming, before I was one and a half I didn't dream; simply and then when I offset started dreaming – I can't give yous the calendar date, all I know is that it was in between my 1st and 2nd altogether – and...I'm going by the fact that it was common cold, so information technology would have been winter, which is…six months before my birthday. So I was most ane and a one-half. And I found I merely went to sleep, and I was in this room with all this fruit and ball-and-shoot machines, and I idea I'd really been taken somewhere. And when I woke up I idea, 'what's happened? Where did I go?' And and so I developed a fright of falling asleep, considering I thought I was being taken away from home and from Mum, and so I'd wake in the middle of the night and I'd scream to make sure mom was at that place. But then at three years former, I could finally verbalise and ask Mum, "why do you keep taking u.s. all these strange places every dark?" And Mum once said to me, "We didn't go out last dark", and I said, "Yes we did! We went to Dream World." And Mum goes, "It must be a dream," and I said, "What's a dream?" And and so she told me what they were, and I said, "Oh! That's what they're chosen." And so then I understood, but I however asked Mum, "Only who takes me those places?" And Mum said, "Your mind does." And I thought 'Heed' was a person, as a three-year-onetime. So whenever I'd be having a dream, I'd ask anybody in the dream, "Where'southward Mind? I desire to ask Mind if I tin can wake up go back home."
Donna Lu: That must be quite scary though, not realising?
Rebecca Sharrock: Yeah.
Donna Lu: Having such an incredible memory almost seems like a superpower, only are there any challenges or difficulties you have as a result? Y'all mentioned the insomnia earlier.
Rebecca Sharrock: Yeah, there are various challenges which I accept…I observe it difficult getting to slumber at night because my mind'due south e'er racing. I also do go a lot of headaches, and I can't sit downwards and balance hands because my mind's e'er live, and I tin can't sit down and relax because I'm always getting ideas to exercise ten dissimilar things and to proceed myself busy. And then, I do get a lot of headaches and nausea because of information technology, and I don't like reliving negative memories, because all the emotions come up back; and I like to telephone call those 'intrusive memories' – when I involuntarily think something negative – because I could be having a skillful 24-hour interval and I just become intoxicated by something that happened x years ago and all the emotions and low come up dorsum, and I'm reliving the emotions as if that event happened in the present ,and then it just ruins my mean solar day, so...
Donna Lu: Then, do you kind of have a bit of trouble distinguishing sometimes betwixt things that have just happened or are happening, and things that happened years in the past?
Rebecca Sharrock: Yeah, especially when I'm in the moment of reliving the memory, my censor and reasoning does know that I'k in the present time, but emotionally it tin can crusade confusion because I'm reliving something that happened to me equally a 7-twelvemonth-old, but I'm reliving information technology with seven-year-old emotions. So my conscience is telling me, "No! That was years ago, why yous crying considering of losing a lollipop, why are you crying virtually that?" Simply my emotions when I'm reliving the memory are similar a seven-twelvemonth-old, and that causes anxiety, and it makes me feel and then childish and I don't know why I'm so upset about such a featherbrained fiddling thing.
Donna Lu: Janet, what take been some of the challenges from your perspective?
Janet: I call up the feet that is linked to HSAM is the worst thing. And that certainly was the motivator when I get-go realized that Becky had this, and I was determined to get the classification done by the University. And it took a few years for them to do the testing, and then I thought, well, if they've discovered this memory, maybe they tin discover out how it's happening and so maybe they can switch it off. I hope that they could detect a way of reversing information technology all or blocking information technology in some way – if they could find out what part of the encephalon was triggering the memories. But what'south happened instead is that Becky, in finding out most the retentiveness, her coping with the discovery of the memory has actually helped her feet. I hateful, she withal suffers from anxiety disorders as a effect of her autism and her HSAM and her OCD, just now she's learning grounding techniques, and I didn't realize information technology before, but when she was actually reciting the Harry Potter, what she was actually doing was grounding herself in the present, and that helps keep the 'intrusive memories' as she calls them at bay.
Donna Lu: On a slightly lighter notation Janet, are there are any interesting things that you've noticed virtually Rebecca'southward HSAM that sometimes might be a scrap tricky for you to handle?
Janet: Well, I have to watch everything I say, and I noticed that fifty-fifty as child; you know, when y'all go somewhere and the kids say, 'Will y'all purchase this for me?" And you'll say, "Oh, next time I'll buy it for you", you know, but she remembers the next time. Five years later, she remembers you said this. Then, I have a good memory for remembering conversations, and then I kind of know what it feels like for Rebecca in a sense when people say one thing, and then they try and pretend they haven't said it a yr later. So I'm always very cautious when I talk to Becky that I know she'll call up information technology. And and then if I say something, I never back myself into a corner; I always make information technology that I accept an out. And so, yeah, "Well, maybe we can, you lot know, do this next fourth dimension, or nosotros'll but wait and run across", rather than, "Yes, you lot tin" just to close her up. At that place are the obvious advantages with, I'll enquire Becky you lot know, when did I buy this, how erstwhile is this? How old is this TV? How old is this kettle? How old is this? You know, and then she'll say information technology'due south five years, and I know it'southward just out of warranty. And then, I exercise that all the time. That a good one, because they're all the things that nosotros forget. Just I never remember to tell her where I put the receipts, so even though I'll know some things are within warranty notwithstanding, I can never find out, and I know I've saved them. And so a couple of times I've deliberately taken her out with me when I'm needed to buy something, and then I know she's with me so I can say, "What were yous doing when we bought this? What do you lot remember? Me coming into the house with it?", yous know? And I will say things deliberately so she'll remember it, like a little shop – y'all know, "Remember this Becky", yous know, so two years after, "What was that".
Donna Lu: That'due south a practical skill.
Janet: Yeah! It'south actually adept. It's sneaky equally a Mum but...
Donna Lu: And so that's pretty much all of the questions that I had. Becky, do y'all have any more general comments well-nigh your feel, or is there anything that you'd similar people to know virtually what it'due south like to take HSAM?
Rebecca Sharrock: What it's like to have HSAM? Information technology'south hard to know what information technology's like not to have HSAM for me, because I've never known life any differently. Simply it is a really strange thought for me whenever friends and family unit have said that a whole chunk of their babyhood is just gone. I find the concept foreign, to have lived for a stretch of years, and yet accept no recollections of it. That'due south strange to me.
Donna Lu: What's normal to everyone else, yeah, it must exist a very foreign for you.
Rebecca Sharrock: One time I had as a teenager, I had an anxiety attack considering my brother couldn't call back a flat mate we'd had when he was a v-year-onetime, and I said to Mum, "But he must remember!" And Mum goes, "Well, he can't, he was just 5". And I said, "Mum, I don't understand!"
Donna Lu: I also spoke to Gail Robinson, an Associate Professor in UQ's School of Psychology, who is conducting HSAM research with Becky.
Gail Robinson: I'm Gail Robinson, I'm an Associate Professor in clinical neuropsychology, and my inquiry is all about the mind, and what the frontal lobes practise in terms of cognition.
Donna Lu: Gail, what is Highly Superior Autobiographical Memory?
Gail Robinson: Yep, it'due south an unusual presentation of memory in which someone can recall very conspicuously most every day of their lives. At present, obviously that's non so much from birth – usually it'south starting in about early on or centre childhood – and it's what we call the personal autobiographical memories. So, it'south not near learning new things from today that you'll be able to tell me about tomorrow. Information technology's really, what did you practice when y'all were ix on this particular appointment? So, that'due south one of the ways they diagnose it: yous're given a particular day maybe ten years ago and asked: 'What day of the week is it? What were y'all doing?' So, Rebecca volition exist able to think really mundane things that yous and I don't bother with. So, what she had for breakfast… Ofttimes she recalls what the conditions was like on a particular day, and invariably she tin can piece of work out what weekday it is.
Donna Lu: And does the condition differ from photographic retention?
Gail Robinson: Yeah. Well, if we remember well-nigh Rebecca, she doesn't tend to remember in photographs. So, for example, the Harry Potter: if yous ask her about that, information technology's non photographs that she'due south thinking of; she'due south not looking at a page in the book. She's actually clueing in to the auditory words and the meaning, and it'southward a word-for-give-and-take blazon of memory that she has.
Donna Lu: Do we actually know what'southward happening in the brain? Not just in Becky's brain, but in the encephalon of people with HSAM, that's underlying this incredible autobiographical memory?
Gail Robinson: Yes again, there aren't that many cases, but what we do know is that structurally, it doesn't seem to be that different; or there'southward perhaps slightly larger subcortical structures. Then, in terms of the putamen… mayhap those areas are connecting to a greater degree to other areas, like the hippocampus or the amygdala. That is really just from a example report, i report of looking at the connectivity strength between areas, at that place'due south a hint; but structurally, Becky's brain doesn't actually expect that dissimilar.
Donna Lu: That's really interesting. So, we nonetheless don't really know why the condition exists?
Gail Robinson: No, non at all. Information technology'due south a mystery which is why information technology'south and so fascinating, and this is enquiry in action, and that you keep having questions and so those questions actually pb to more questions that are still unresolved. I think that what's fascinating nearly HSAM is it gives us the opportunity to await at what is it about Rebecca'due south memory that is strong or dissimilar. Those clues also will enable us to think virtually what could potentially help people to maintain their personal memories, and I'yard particularly thinking most in the dementias when people are losing their memories. If we can figure out from Rebecca what helps keep them, we may exist able to so use that to help people maintain memories at that point when all of us become vulnerable, and well let's face it, losing your memory is one of the biggest fears in this society of this age.
Donna Lu: That was UQ's Associate Professor Gail Robinson speaking about Rebecca Sharrock'south Highly Superior Autobiographical Memory. That'south all for this episode. I'm Donna Lu, and our podcast is produced by Zoe McDonald. We're on Facebook and Twitter, and if you like what you heard please give united states of america a review on iTunes. We'd really appreciate information technology. Thank you for listening!
Source: https://qbi.uq.edu.au/podcast-super-memory-what-its-remember-being-baby
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